Free Kentucky Press

I must pass on to you all a newspaper article sent to me by little Leroy Bliss, aged 8, from Kentucky. He wrote me a private letter describing his fear of going out to play alone in the evening and I felt I should share the article with you. For shame!

FREE KENTUCKY PRESS - DAILY MINTO - September 16 2008
Man Killed by Enraged Cabbage Whites

An almost upright, white, right, middle aged Kentucky man was killed yesterday evening in yet another of the growing number of attacks recently perpetrated by Cabbage White butterflies.

This hard-line species are extremely clannish, and few humans have ever penetrated their enclave, but they are known to be white extremists and many of the recent attacks were carried out against people of color. This is the first confirmed death associated with the Cabbage Whites, who are becoming more militant and violent in Kentucky, and it was also surprising because the victim was a person of rather pallid color, indeed none, to speak of.

Billy Joe Bob Willy Joe Brown died of his injuries shortly after being left on the side of the road when the ambulance attendants discovered he had let his insurance lapse through lack of funds.

Brown's widow, May, allowed us to interview her. Talking through her tears, she described the terrible last moments of her husband’s life. "I was feeding our only chicken when they played their evil trick!"

According to Brown’s widow, Brown had been cycling home from choir practice when it happened. Using the little known 'white rope' trick, which involves dozens of Whites linking legs across the road, they awaited their opportunity. The trick resembles a rope strung across the road at dusk, and naturally Brown braked hard when it appeared, tumbling off his bike to the ground.

"They were on him in a second, he didn't stand a chance. They stomped on him all over so hard, he looked like a close-up of newsprint!" sobbed the anguished widow. "They killed him because his new friend was black, well, technically, but to me he seemed rather a light brown, and I thought no-one would notice. Of course, we knew they (Whites) were racist so we always left them well alone, and anyway they always smell so strongly of cabbage and old family Bibles, but I never expected this! It's just me and Betty the chicken now!"

Police will be looking into Brown’s death in the next week or so.