NEWSFLASH!

Dame Wotta back from an Intergalactic Mission

Workers Compensation Board Entering Black Hole Soon

Some of my devoted readers will have noticed that I have not been present to dispense advice. This was not my wish, but was entirely unavoidable.

I was asked to temporarily join a secret unit, a special Intergalactic team of freedom-fighters who support the liberty and dignity of all life everywhere, even if it’s small, beige, wriggly and leaves faint stains behind it as it moves. The time for personal prejudice is long over.

It had come to the attention of certain beings that have the best interests of human people at heart that injured workers everywhere were being denied compensation that by rights were legitimately theirs, and that entire families were being consigned to the garbage can of life arbitrarily and corruptly. Of course, people are always treated unfairly everywhere and in every way on Earth, and this is to be expected under the present planetary regime.

Nevertheless, as most damage is actually administered bureaucratically, and Worker’s Compensation Boards everywhere have re-written the law to protect themselves, it was decided to make an example of them.

Nobody working for this outrageous outfit (which is ultimately controlled by an incredibly loathsome demon) is yet aware of their fate, and the beauty of the plan is that the staff, all brainwashed lackey’s selected for their lack of compassion and scruples, wouldn’t believe it anyway.

Just as nobody remotely believes anything WCB the not for profit organization concocts in order that they may retain all the lovely dosh they have collected that doesn't really belong to them.

The job at hand was first to select the correct suitable black hole and then funnel the entire combined Workers Compensation Boards of North America into it. This was accomplished, and the whole incredibly delicate operation was coordinated from the complete safety of an Intergalactic Starship, where the procedure was instigated and the opening stages were put into motion. If it proves successful we shall later repeat the exercise around the Globe.

Although the results will not be made apparent for several years (approximately 3), WCB have already been consigned to a black hole of suitable proportions and are as we speak on the very edges of its outer limits.

The black hole finally selected had to be of a massive size to successfully subsume the intense density of both the combined digital and paper files, the ridiculously massive and expensive buildings, equipment, parking lots, and, sadly, the pathetic ‘staff’ of the entire shebang, along with their ego’s, which apparently turned out upon analysis to be made up almost entirely of Heavy Water.

This was an unprecedented decision made at great personal cost to all members of the team, and certainly not to be taken lightly. We knew these Borg souls would most likely be atomized meeting themselves coming in on the way back out.

The law of cause and effect operating across the Multiverse will allow them another opportunity for soul advancement, but not for several thousand years in Earth-time, and not until they have each personally eaten the equivalent weight in paper of the entire WCB case-files of North America collected since its inception.

I myself did not come out of this unscathed. On July 31st, I received a death-threat via my computer screen (shown above). My computer immediately crashed following this event.

A psionic attack was then launched upon my home leaving the occupants, including myself, severely injured. While I was being rushed to a secret hospital, perpetrators entered my home, stealing the hard drive, which was then transported to a Transylvanian restaurant in Vancouver to be worked on.

This website was then attacked and completely flooded and ruined by the ensuing water damage, being almost entirely melted during the invasion. This was yet another cowardly assault designed to end my humanitarian work. I spent a considerable sum of money on the services of an excellent restoration company to try and repair this site.

Digital Damage Dudes did a brilliant job and I don’t believe you can even see where the destruction was. I would recommend them anytime and space.

Suffice it to say after a long struggle I recovered my health and completed my assignment. I also recovered my hard drive and the vital information on it. I have Friends in Sideways Places. People have been suitably cosmically spanked. We will leave it at that for now.

Dame Wotta Tripp is back in your service.