The Dreadful Secrets Of Dust

Dear Dame Wotta,

I have OCD very badly. I am extremely affected by dirt and dust. Although I find damp or wet messes naturally revolting, I find dust to be sinister. It has a furtive quality as if it were hiding some dreadful secret.
What could be causing this eerie feeling? I would welcome your advice.

Cheers, Dennis

Dear Dennis,

It’s interesting that you feel that way about dust, because it’s certainly more complex than most people stop to consider! Think about it!

There is outside dust and indoor dust, and both of them are unspeakable when examined closely. I have repeatedly mentioned to people myself that the side walks are full of micturation dust, spit and vomit dust and other even more unmentionable dusts.

Take a Petri-dish and put a few drops of city tap water on it and allow it to dry. Go and look at your little project the next day. You will find a whitish residue. Wipe it off with a finger (notice how easily it dislodges?) and look at your once-clean digit. This is water dust. How can this be so, you ask? Well, everything in this wonderful but imprisoned world is made of chemicals. All that is wet, whether beautiful as watercolor, or vile, sticky and fetid, must eventually dry, leaving dusts with various ratings. Imagine for an hour or two the awful things that are spilled, squashed or deliberately voided onto roads and sidewalks each and every day. The sun dries all these dreadful dusts that we must breathe and sometimes work and play in. Our homes are equally foully inhabited.

I can never say this enough, my darlings, wash your hands after dust!

If your eerie feeling doesn’t now go away, consult your medical practitioner.

Best to you, Dennis. Wotta Tripp