Saturday, June 28, 2008

A Slight Magical Hiccup

Dear Dame,
About a year ago I did something I now realize is unforgivable. I don’t believe in Hell, but if it existed, I would surely end up burning there.

I had a boyfriend named Mark who cheated on me.
I performed what can only be described as an intense act of black magic in which I christened a poppet as ‘Mark Sutherland’. Actually, much more was entailed on that dark, windy, icy June night, but I cannot say, except I wickedly hoped he would die in a car crash with Christy, his ‘hoe.

Just two days later Mark Sutherland was killed in an awful car wreck, but it wasn’t my Mark, but his father, also called Mark, who was killed fatally, along with the family dog, Chris. I can’t tell anyone, but I know it was me. How can I atone?

Deadly Alison (I took this name as atonement)


Hi Alison,
You can best atone by making the most of the rest of your life. You’re young and inexperienced. I’m a practical person. Chris has, in my opinion, been suitably punished – he has lost both his father and his pet.

Meanwhile, you seem to have considerable talent.

Get proper training and you can become a powerful magician, storing up treasure in this world and spending it as well, while defeating enemies and influencing people. Make sure you give away a lot of the money you make to charities and foundations as tax write-offs. This is called being a philanthropist, and if you believe in heaven you might end up there instead. Be warned, though, it’s jammed with Christians end to end, apart from the people who got lost and ended up there accidentally. It is notoriously dull and boring to occultists of all persuasions.

I hope you turn your life around – Wotta Tripp

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